How Mommy Issues Are Destroying Your Sex Life
If you’re in a relationship and not getting the sex you want, there is something I want to share with you. Sexual attraction comes from polarity in a relationship. Masculine polarity comes from you developing your sexual power. Many men don’t understand why she stops wanting sex. I’m going to explain it to you.
Let me ask you. Have you been shutting down your masculinity? Do you even know what your true masculinity really feels like? Women want to feel it from you and if you’re shutting down that part of yourself, you are sabotaging your ability to satisfy women in bed. So the question is, do you want to know how to show up sexually as the powerful man that women are craving?
Listen to this. There’s a psychological phenomenon called the Einstellung Effect that impacts every single one of us. It’s basically the tunnel vision effect where you can only see one possible way to go about something. Rather than the brain having plasticity, there are deep grooves that prevent you from seeing multiple, possible outcomes. Every day you solve problems but how do you know if you’re solving them in the best possible way or if you’re just applying routine solutions that may not actually optimize your life?
The Einstellung Effect occurs when preexisting knowledge prevents you from being able to see other options that may create a better situation for you. In essence, it leaves you incapable of making decisions that will optimize your life because you keep making the same decisions over and over.
The brain attempts to work efficiently and if something worked in the past for a similar situation, then it will default to that solution over and over. It prioritizes efficiency over the risk of trying something new and unproven.
This suggests that once you have an experience, you are likely to become subject to the Einstellung Effect and your brain goes on autopilot rather than creating new and potentially more optimal solutions.
In an attempt to prioritize efficiency over effectiveness, your brain sabotages your ability to come up with new ideas.
You may be in this situation right now. You are living out the self-limiting beliefs that you have about yourself. When presented with the opportunity to optimize your sex life, you default to the story that you have to ask someone else for permission to do this. It goes back to having to ask mommy for permission as a child.
It’s time for a pattern interrupt. If your default answer is, “I need to talk to my wife”, or, “I can’t afford that”, or, “I don’t have time for that”, then there’s a good chance that you’ve fallen victim to the Einstellung Effect. You’re not acting from your conscious, creative mind. Instead, you’re operating from your subconscious, habitual, routine-based mind. If you keep operating from this part of your brain, you will never have the results that you’re wanting to have in your sex life.
The longer that you wait for permission to become the man that you want to be sexually, the less attractive you become until she doesn’t want anything to do with you sexually anymore. You’ll make excuses about how the kids came along and life got busy and your career needed attention and her family got in the way but it’s all excuses.
The reality is that if you don’t know your sexual power, if you don’t walk in the power of your masculine authority, then as soon as the honeymoon period ends, there is nothing there to keep her attracted to you.
A woman will never give you permission to be something that she expects you to claim for yourself. If she has to give you permission to take a stand for your sex life together, it proves to her that you don’t have what she longs for you to have. On a primal level, women want their men to take a stand and claim them.
A man on fire does not ask for permission.
When you get the training that you need to create a sex life with her that is fun, deeply satisfying, and adventurous, you’re letting her know that she’s worth it. You’re sending her the message that you’re claiming her, that you’re not going to let this relationship die and you’re not going to end up divorced with some other man having her.
If instead, you resort to porn and affairs, you’ve proven that she doesn’t matter. Your relationship doesn’t matter. You’re not bold enough to take a stand for what is yours.
Women lose all respect for men at this point and a woman without respect for her man is a very dangerous woman. This is when contempt enters the relationship and a relationship with contempt is the most toxic kind. It’s a poison that must be stopped by fixing the relationship immediately or ending it. Do not continue in a relationship with contempt.
For a woman to love you, she must respect you and men would choose to receive respect over love from a woman. The key to having her respect is respecting yourself and healing the wound of needing permission to take a stand for your needs.
Before you can lead your sex life and your relationship, you must take care of your sexual problems.