How to Create and Harness Sexual Energy for Much More Than Just Sex

March 31, 2022

Article from Cosmopolitan by Jaime Ballard.

When you hear the term “sexual energy,” you probably think of the sexual tension that occurs when you just *know* you’d have seriously hot sex with someone. Or maybe you think of someone who gives off BDE or major flirty vibes. While sexual energy can be (and usually is) present in those exchanges, there’s much more to it than just that.

“Our sexuality is our power,” explains tantric sex therapist Sarrah Rose. “And what I see walking around our society is a lot of people who are just dead to their sexual power, to their life force.”

Turns out, your sexual energy can play a role in many aspects of your life—not just your sex life. Learning how to create and harness sexual energy can help you feel more creative and tackle passion projects and other big goals. Plus, being in touch with your sexual energy can also lead to changes in your romantic life and help you heal from negative experiences in past relationships.

If you’re like, “k, that all sounds great, but what TF does it mean?” then keep on reading, we’ve got you covered…

What is sexual energy?

“I like to think of [sexual energy] as this aura that a person puts off,” explains Rose. “There’s just this tangible difference that people have, where they have this sexual energy that’s flowing freely through their body. And a lot of these people are highly creative and highly successful because our sexual energy is our creative energy.”

Your sexual energy can be harnessed for sex (duh), but it can do much more than that too—like help spark creativity or overcome burnout.

“That creative energy can fuel into projects and passions,” says Rose. “It’s not necessarily always used just for sex. It can be used to create businesses, it can be used to create anything you want.” So if you feel like you’ve hit a wall when it comes to work, school, creative projects, or any other passions, working on improving your sexual energy can actually help get things moving again.

How do you create sexual energy?

If you want to better channel your sexual energy, there are a few techniques you can try.

Masturbation. Rose often recommends masturbation-based practices to clients looking to connect with their sexual energy. Spending time getting to know your body and figuring out what you like is so important. You can use your hands, a shower head, or one of the many, many sex toys out there.

Breathing practices. You can incorporate breathwork into your masturbation sessions to help amplify the effects. Rose recommends her clients try different breathing practices while they’re masturbating, to help them focus on their energy and the sensations they’re having. If you need some more guidance, we’ve got some breathwork techniques you can try here.

Meditation. One pro tip for tantric sex (which can involve working with one’s sexual energy) is to meditate before getting it on with yourself or a partner. Relaxing your mind and body can help you feel more in tune with your sexual energy. But remember, sexual energy isn’t all about sex. So you could also meditate to get more in touch with your sexual energy before planning a big move at work or embarking on a new creative project — you don’t necessarily have to masturbate or have sex after your meditation, ofc. Apps like Calm and Headspace have a ton of guided meditations to get you inspired.

How do you increase your sexual energy?

Increasing your sexual energy can include meditation, breathing practices, tantric sex, and masturbation. But if you feel like your sexual energy is still blocked, it’s worth examining further. If you have any shame around sex and sexuality, it might be interfering with your sexual energy.

“A lot of people have so much shame when it comes to their sexuality,” explains Rose. “There’s shame, there’s guilt, there’s pain, there’s sadness, there’s fear. All of these heavy emotions really lock us down and keep us from having free-flowing sexual energy that’s healthy and integrated.”

Religious trauma is another factor that Rose mentions as a potential block to sexual energy. Feeling pressure to fit into certain societal expectations about sex and relationships might also be a contributing factor in holding you back. Of course, you have to be open-minded about things to get in touch with your sexual energy. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to harnessing your sexual energy, but keeping an open mind as you try out new things is a good start.

Lastly, watching too much porn might also be a factor in why your sexual energy just isn’t feeling right. Rose explained that while she doesn’t personally have a moral issue with pornography, she has noticed that decreasing porn consumption tends to have a positive effect on improving her clients’ sexual energy.

“Every single man I work with, once he stops porn, he changes everything,” she says. “The expectations they put on themselves are unrealistic and the expectations they have of their partners are unrealistic. They’re seeing performance-style sex, which is exhausting and depleting for both men and women.”

If you’re experiencing any blocks, like shame around your sexuality or over-reliance on porn, you can always reach out to a sex coach or therapist to help work through some of these issues and better get in touch with your sexual energy.

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