Let’s talk about masturbation. Your whole life, has anyone ever led you to believe that it was something positive? That it was something you should embrace fully and do with pride? Chances are, outside of the group of guys you hung out with, it didn’t get the best rep.
Church told us it was a sin. Schools tended to ignore it. And most of our parents forbid it. What this led to was a society of men who felt ashamed and guilty about self-pleasure. Two very toxic emotions that can cloud your ability to really experience pleasure. And give it.
Part of what I teach in my sex education course, Man on Fire, is how to relearn these perspectives surrounding pleasure and masturbation. Ways to purge negative emotions and embrace the positive. To help you better understand these exercises and what goes down in my class, one of my students has offered to blog about his experiences.
A Conversation with My Penis
Masturbation had always seemed like a routine thing to me. I recall first hearing about it when I went to go see the movie Transformers. Shia Labeouf said something about it that got a chuckle from my friend’s older brother and his buddies. Not knowing what it was I asked about it after the movie, which got more laughs, but eventually an explanation.
After a couple attempts, I had pretty much got it down. Since then, I rarely pay it a second thought. As I said, it became pretty routine, like brushing your teeth, making your bed. This past week, when Sarrah began talking to us about being conscious during sexual practices, like masturbation, I was slightly taken back.
I had never thought of being emotionally or consciously present while masturbating. Just off in some fantasy of mine. While Sarrah said fantasizing like this wasn’t a bad thing, it’s important that you do so in certain ways. Doing it for the right reasons or from a positivity enhancing perspective. She explained that most people use fantasies as a way to disconnect, to escape. In similar ways to how porn is used. And what happens is you end up relying on these fantasies that don’t provide the kind of energy you need to have during sex.
When it came to sex, and what my mental state tends to be, I’d say I was present for the most part. However, a good part of my mind is focusing on lasting longer. In a way, preventing myself from complete pleasure. Sarrah went on to say that you need to be able to concentrate on all the emotions your feeling, not trying to ignore them. Both the good and the bad ones.
Referred to as a full-body orgasm with trauma release, Sarrah explained to us that by focusing on these emotions during a sexual practice and engaging in the exercises she guided us through, either by yourself or with a partner, you can experience these incredibly therapeutic releases. These full-body orgasms have the ability to heal, and if Sarrah’s taught me anything as a sex coach it’s that sexual power is real.
While it might take some practice to get there, I’m confident I’ll be able to start having some of these on my own. And even with someone else. These exercises are truly game-changing. But to be able to make full advantage of them, you’ll need to have someone like Sarrah there to walk you through the first time.
If you’re interested in signing up for the Man on Fire sex training and empowerment course, or just have a few questions about it, use the button below to set up your first call with Sarrah. It’s free!SET UP YOUR CALL